


exactly the right kind

by useyourtelescope



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, Attachments - Rainbow Rowell - Freeform, Bellarke Bingo, Bellarke January Joy, E-mail, F/M, Minor Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin, Minor Monty Green/Harper McIntyre, Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22353526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/useyourtelescope/pseuds/useyourtelescope
Summary: Bellamy didn’t know quite what to expect when he took a job monitoring emails at the local newspaper. He definitely wasn’t prepared to develop a crush on one of the newspaper staff purely from reading her emails.But it was just a crush. And now that he’d read so many of Clarke’s exchanges with her friend Harper, it wasn’t like he could just go introduce himself. Nothing could ever happen between them...could it?Semi-Finalist in Best Social Media AU and Round 1 Winner in Best Fusion/Crossover AU at the 2020 Bellarke Fic Writer Awards
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 106
Kudos: 307
Collections: Bellarke Bingo, Bellarke January Joy 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This little fic is my contribution to **Bellarke January Joy**! I'm also using it as an excuse to cross off a few prompts of my **Bellarke Bingo** board, namely one-sided pining (Bellamy), slow burn (or as slow burn as a short fic can be) and based on a book. 
> 
> The book this is based on is **Attachments** by Rainbow Rowell. I have borrowed the key plot points plus the occasional line (and email formatting), but anyone who has read the book will notice I've gone in a different direction for many things. I wanted to put my own spin on the concept to better fit Bellarke.
> 
> Finally, I hope everyone appreciates the effort it took me to write the dates on emails American-style and that I did look up a 1999 calendar for accurate days of the week lol

Ten years ago, Bellamy would have spent his Friday night at a bar, drinking with his friends and playing darts. Occasionally gone home with a pretty girl if he didn’t have too many drinks.

Now Bellamy spent his Friday nights by himself in a dark, forgotten corner of the office, reading the emails of the woman he has a crush on. A woman who doesn’t even know he exists.

He wasn’t sure if the fact that it was his job made it less or more pathetic.

His job doesn’t make much sense to most people, least of all him.

Thelonious Jaha, the owner of _Arkadia Daily,_ was notorious in the city for his eccentric ways. It was rumoured the _Daily_ was the last newspaper in the state to get the internet. When Jaha had finally relented he’d done so only under the proviso that internet usage would be heavily monitored, which included keeping track of everyone’s emails to make sure people weren’t misusing it.

Enter Bellamy.

He hadn’t been excited by the job itself, but the pay was high for such low requirements. After years of constantly working two or three different jobs to take care of his younger sister, the idea of having just one that didn’t require much effort on his part had been extremely tempting. The shift pattern had him starting when most people finished work and continuing until midnight or later, which sucked for his social life, but it was never going to be a long-term job.

His official title was ‘IT Support Technician’ because he was on-call if anyone staying late needed help, but in the four months he’d been working there it had only happened a handful of times. Mostly, he spent the first hour or so of his shift reading the emails that had been flagged and then had the rest of the time to himself.

He’d been told upfront there would likely be a lot of downtime, but he hadn’t minded that. He’d thought it would give him time to think about what kind of job he really wanted, now he only had to think about paying for himself. He wasn’t any nearer to deciding on a long-term career, but he had finally started writing the book he’d been daydreaming about for years.

Bellamy still didn’t feel entirely comfortable reading other people’s emails, but he had mostly gotten used to it. It was what he got paid to do and everyone knew the company policy was that suspicious emails would get flagged by the filter and read by someone in IT to confirm no one was misusing their company email. Then the emails would be escalated or deleted as required.

Most of the emails that got flagged were so boring Bellamy had stopped feeling guilty about reading them.

Then there were Clarke Griffin and Harper McIntyre-Green.

Clarke got flagged a lot, mainly thanks to her frequent use of swear words. But her correspondence with everyone else was still work-related. Her emails with Harper, however, were personal. The two friends used their emails to chat regularly and reading their conversations over the last few months had made Bellamy feel like he knew them.

But he didn’t know them. He had never spoken to either of them, and they definitely didn’t know he existed. Bellamy didn’t even know what they looked like. He only knew their job titles from seeing their names in the paper.

And yet, he had started looking forward to seeing Clarke Griffin’s name waiting in the pile of flagged emails. To the point that he was a little disappointed when it wasn’t there. Luckily, that evening there was an email waiting to be read.

**From:** Clarke Griffin

**To:** Harper McIntyre-Green

**Sent:** Fri, 08/20/1999 10:32 AM

**Subject:** Are you free tonight?

Wells and Sasha were going to see that new play at Tondc but they can’t go now and offered me their tickets. Do you want to go with me? It’s at 7.30.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Sorry, Monty and I are at his grandma’s birthday dinner tonight.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

That’s tonight?? I thought it was Saturday!

Are you prepared?

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

To have all of Monty’s aunties judging me? No, no I am not.

But I have finished wrapping her present.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

I’m sure they don’t hate you as much as you think they do. I bet all the gossiping is just them going, “How did Monty find someone as amazing as Harper? We wish our daughters were as wonderful as her!”

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

It’s definitely more “What does she mean she doesn’t eat meat?” and “Why hasn’t she borne Monty a child yet?”

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Maybe we could ask Luna to write something about meat negatively impacting your sex life? You know she loves looking into all the new-fangled health stuff.

Though I guess that wouldn’t help with the baby questions.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Ha! Yeah, the only thing that could stop the baby questions is me being pregnant.

Us wanting to wait a couple more years is apparently not a good enough reason. And even though Monty has told his family many MANY times it was something we decided together, it’s never him that gets the snide comments about it.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

I’m sorry :(

Monty supports you though right?

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Oh yeah, Monty’s great. He actually got into an argument with his mom about it last time we were at hers for dinner.

That kind of sucked because I don’t want him to be fighting with his mom, but I was happy he was on my side. And she did apologise to me after.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

That’s good that she apologised! Maybe that means tonight won’t be so bad?

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

I’m not holding my breath.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Oh my God, I snorted my coffee onto my keyboard and thought I was going to have to call IT for a minute!

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Oops! Though I would have liked to hear you explain that to them.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Where do you even find these pictures?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

I have my ways ;)

It probably wasn’t bad to laugh at a silly picture Clarke sent her friend, Bellamy told himself. But he shouldn’t be thinking about what a nice friend Clarke was, always trying to help or cheer Harper up when she had a problem. And he definitely shouldn’t stare at the clock as it turned seven-thirty and wonder who Clarke took to the theatre. Or whether Clarke would agree with Maya Vie’s review of the play in last week’s _Daily_.

Those weren’t things he should think about a woman he didn’t actually know. A woman who lived with her boyfriend. – Another fact he only knew because of reading her emails.

Bellamy sighed.

Having gone thirty years without having a crush on somebody, it was just his luck that the first time it happened was in a situation where he could never approach them. Maybe if he’d met Clarke in the first few weeks he’d been working at _Arkadia Daily_ something could have happened between them; not a relationship since she wasn’t single, but at least they could have become friends if he’d run into her in the breakroom or the parking lot. Since they had never crossed paths in the last four months, it seemed unlikely to happen now. And even if it did, he’d read too many of her emails to not feel weird around her. But knowing that hadn’t managed to stop him feeling this way.

Bellamy was fully aware how ridiculous his crush was. He hadn’t dared tell his sister or his friends about it; Murphy and Miller would find it hilarious and Octavia would get even worse in her efforts to find Bellamy a girlfriend.

But it was just a crush. It would go away eventually. Nothing to be concerned about.

* * *

“I’m worried about you, Bell,” Octavia told him when he visited her for lunch on Saturday. She had been something of a wild child when living under Bellamy’s roof, but since meeting Lincoln she had mellowed out significantly. Bellamy hadn’t been thrilled initially that his baby sister had moved in with an older man straight out of college, but he’d begrudgingly had to admit that Lincoln was a good guy. He was happy even that Octavia had settled down with Lincoln. He just wished it didn’t mean she was now convinced she needed to find Bellamy’s soulmate.

“I told you before,” Bellamy said, “I’m fine.”

“But you’re never going to meet someone if you’re stuck in that office all night. You said one of the reasons you took this job was to have more free time, but you end up sleeping in so late to recover from the late shift and losing more time.”

Bellamy wondered the same thing himself sometimes. He still caught up with Murphy and Emori every weekend, but Miller’s shift pattern constantly changed so it was harder to coordinate schedules. But Bellamy wasn’t in the mood to agree with his sister. “I still have weekends. And afternoons. In fact, I got chatting to a woman I met at the museum last Wednesday.”

“Really?” Octavia said suspiciously.

“Yeah. We had a long discussion about the latest exhibit.”

“Is she a student?”

“No.” Bellamy took a swig of his drink before explaining, “She’s retired.”

Octavia rolled her eyes and swatted him with a tea towel before going back to the stove. “I’m serious, Bell. You know, there’s someone at my office that I think would be perfect for you.”

“I don’t want you to set me up.”

“Why not?”

Bellamy scratched his head, trying to figure out what to say. There was no way he was telling Octavia about Clarke. And maybe going on a date with someone else wasn’t such a bad idea; it might help pass his silly infatuation.

He’d never even gone on an actual date before; hadn’t thought about it until early that year. The discussion hadn’t been related to Clarke at least, since he hadn’t been working at the _Daily_ at the time. Murphy and Emori had finally made it official and Murphy had wanted suggestions for their first real date. He’d humoured his friend, even though Bellamy found the idea amusing for a couple who had been hooking up off and on for a year. Bellamy had decided his ideal date would be at the museum – a suggestion Murphy had immediately vetoed, eventually choosing to take Emori to the theme park in Polis.

Octavia’s colleague might not think the museum was as lame a date idea as Murphy had. But Bellamy couldn’t help but wonder how a certain newspaper art critic would feel about it.

“I’m not looking for anything yet,” Bellamy said finally.

Octavia grumbled as she stirred. “As long as I don’t find out you’re letting Murphy set you up on dates.”

Bellamy laughed. “Don’t worry, O. If I want to be set up, you’ll be the first to know.”

* * *

**From:** Clarke Griffin

**To:** Harper McIntyre-Green

**Sent:** Tue, 08/31/1999 09:06 AM

**Subject:** Important Information

There’s a Hot guy in our office.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

There really isn’t.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

I know, that’s what I thought, so I waited until I had three confirmed sightings to sound the alarm.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Huh. Hot with a capital H too?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Oh yeah. The first time I saw him I just thought he was cute, but sightings two and three confirmed: definitely H-O-T. I don’t know what he’s doing in our building, he should be a movie star.

Or honestly maybe a porn star.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Clarke! We might get a warning for email misuse.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

If we’ve not got one by now, I highly doubt it will happen.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Maybe. But I’d have thought p0rn is on the list of things they check.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Yeah, if people are getting email from those websites, but I’m sure we’re fine.

Can we get back to discussing my Hot guy please?

His arms, Harper!

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

I want details, but I have to finish my edits to this piece before 12.

You free for lunch?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

It’s a date.

He wasn’t jealous. How ridiculous would that be, to be jealous of some man Clarke had seen around the office? She already had a boyfriend. And that wasn’t even the top reason nothing would ever happen between him and Clarke.

Bellamy closed the email and debated whether he should send them the warning Harper had mentioned.

The filter had been set up just before he started working at the _Daily_ , programmed by Bellamy’s boss Drew, who was apparently only five years younger than him, even though he looked about fifteen. Bellamy didn’t know everything that was on it, but as Harper had suspected “porn” was on the list. But so were a lot of words that Clarke had used liberally in the past and he had never sent a warning for those.

Drew had told Bellamy to use his judgement on who he sent the warning to, and he hadn’t seen anything harmful in Clarke and Harper’s emails. He’d sent the warning directly to a few people like the guy trying to run another business from his work email, and two editors conducting an affair; though the latter was more because he had started to get creeped out by the smutty emails they sent each other and didn’t want them coming to his inbox, not because he was judging them.

Bellamy didn’t see any reason to send a warning to Clarke and Harper, but then again, that was the whole point of his job. And their emails were a regular thing.

But it would be really weird if he sent the warning directly after they talked about it.

It could wait until next time.

* * *

**From:** Clarke Griffin

**To:** Harper McIntyre-Green

**Sent:** Wed, 09/08/1999 09:17 AM

**Subject:** I hate art critics.

We’re the worst.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

So dinner last night went well then?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

I don’t know why I let myself believe it would go any better than any of my mom’s other attempts at showing her support of my career. She said she wanted me to “network” with “like-minded individuals” but if she thinks those assholes are anything like me then I need to change jobs now.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Yikes. Sorry it sucked. :(

At least you had Finn.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

He didn’t come.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Oh. I thought you said he was going to.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Yeah. His band booked a show last minute.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

That’s a shame.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

It’s okay, it’s good for the band. And it was a good excuse for me to leave early.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Was the concert fun at least?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

I went to the cinema.

Is that weird? Going to the cinema by myself instead of my boyfriend’s concert?

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Depends on the film.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

I’m serious. I did mean to go, but then I remembered Back to the Future was the special screening this month and I really wanted to see it in the cinema. And Finn hadn’t asked me to come or anything. Is it bad I didn’t go though?

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

I don’t think so.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

But most people would go to their boyfriend’s band’s concert instead of just using him as an excuse, wouldn’t they?

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Maybe. But you’ve been to a lot of Finn’s concerts over the years. You don’t have to go to all of them.

Bellamy knew it wasn’t his place to be worried about Clarke. In fact, it was actively weird that he was. It was just that, regardless of his ill-advised crush, sometimes her relationship sounded so…odd. He agreed with Harper’s point that Clarke wasn’t obliged to go to every concert, but it seemed liked Clarke hadn’t particularly wanted to go in the first place. If Murphy or Miller had told him something like that about their relationships he would be concerned.

But Clarke wasn’t actually his friend.

If he was thinking about the exchange at all it should have been concerning company policy. But he wasn’t going to send Clarke a warning just for the use of the word “asshole” when he hadn’t warned other people over the same thing. It didn’t seem like she was talking about colleagues. 

As much as he tried to focus on reading the rest of the emails, and the archiving Drew had asked him to sort, the exchange was still on Bellamy’s mind by the time he went to the break room to heat his dinner. That might have been why he didn’t notice the woman kicking the vending machine until he was right behind her.

“Jammed again?”

She whirled around in surprise, the long braid that tamed her dark blonde hair whipping behind her. She seemed embarrassed to have been caught. “It didn’t give me my chocolate.”

“Yeah, it does that sometimes.”

She eyed him suspiciously. “And you’re here to fix it?” she said, hopefully.

“No,” he replied. “But I do know a trick.”

Bellamy moved around her to kick the side of the vending machine.

“And how is that different to what I was doing?”

“There’s a particular order to it.”

She looked suspicious as she folded her arms, but didn’t try to interject as Bellamy gave the machine a second kick before thumping it in the middle. Sure enough, when he was done three chocolate bars fell into the tray.

She laughed before bending down to get the bars. “How did you learn the secrets of the vending machine?”

“Midnight candy emergency.”

“Sounds familiar.” She stood, holding her hands out with a smile. “Well, I was only trying to get two, so you should take one of them as payment.”

Before he could respond with more than a shrug, a voice from down the hall yelled, “Harper!”

The woman’s head turned back to the door to call out, “Be right there!”

Bellamy stared at her profile in shock. It seemed unlikely they had two Harper’s in the building. But even though he’d idly daydreamed about meeting Clarke in the office, he had never thought it would happen.

And, obviously, it wasn’t happening now either, but it felt too close to comfort. Like just by looking at him Harper would know Bellamy had just been thinking about her friend.

“Seriously, take one,” she said. Her smile didn’t look like she thought he was a creep.

He chose one at random, intending to say something but instead just nodding dumbly.

She seemed perplexed at his sudden shyness but didn’t comment on it as she started walking backwards. “Thanks for your help.”

“Anytime,” he managed to say before thinking the better of it. “Sure. Uh, thanks for this,” he said.

_Fuck,_ he thought after Harper had left and he was alone in the breakroom again. If he couldn’t act normal with a girl he _didn’t_ have a crush on, what would he have been like if it had been Clarke?

Not that it mattered. Because that wasn’t going to happen.

* * *

**From:** Harper McIntyre-Green

**To:** Clarke Griffin

**Sent:** Thu, 09/09/1999 08:24 AM

**Subject:** I think I met your Hot guy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! You can find the moodboard for this fic on my [tumblr](https://useyourtelescope.tumblr.com/post/190391157948/exactly-the-right-kind-bellarke-fanfiction-t).  
> Part 2 will be up next week :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies this wasn't up yesterday as planned, but thanks so much to those who left feedback on the first chapter - I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)

**From:** Harper McIntyre-Green

**To:** Clarke Griffin

**Sent:** Thu, 09/09/1999 08:24 AM

**Subject:** I think I met your Hot guy.

He seems nice.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

:O

WHAT

How????

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

I had to work late yesterday because McCreary can’t keep to a bleeping deadline! Your Hot guy came into the break room when I was there.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

And?????

I need details!

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

I was trying to get some candy from the vending machine but it got stuck. He came in while I was kicking it in frustration and took over saying there was a special trick. I was skeptical but he did get my candy out plus an extra.

I hope you appreciate that I was so focused on making certain he was your Hot guy that I didn’t pay attention to what you need to do to release the candy.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

I do appreciate it very much.

OMG I can’t believe you met him.

And you didn’t even just meet him – you met-cute him!

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

It wasn’t that cute.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

He battled the vending machine for you in your hour of need! That is fucking rom-com gold.

When did you realize it was the same guy?

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

He matched your description pretty well and once I had thought to myself ‘this man is far too attractive to be working here’, I remembered what you said.

Honestly, I had figured you were exaggerating when you said the guy could make a living in adult films, but you are absolutely right. He has the voice for it.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

!!!

You need to know it’s so adorable to me that you wrote “adult films” to try to bypass this filter thing – even though I’ve already sworn so if we were going to get a warning (which we’re not) the damage is already done – but I can’t even make fun of you about that right now because I am actually kind of jealous that you’ve heard his voice and I haven’t.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

You know you have a boyfriend right?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Obviously, I don’t mean seriously jealous! But there has never been a bona fide Hot guy working here to gossip about. There’s nothing wrong with being a little jealous that you met him before me.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

If you say so.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

So was that it?? Didn’t you find out his name? Or which department he’s in?

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Sorry, I forgot to ask.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Because you were so blindsided by his hotness?

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Because I had to finish my work so I could finally go home to my lovely husband.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

But a little bit the hotness thing, right?

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Yeah.

Once Bellamy had recovered from his shock – which took quite a few days – the email began to feel like both a blessing and a curse.

The girl he had a crush on had noticed him. She had gossiped about him with her friend. Not in a serious way, clearly, but still. It was nice to have been noticed. He didn’t think his looks were behind him or anything, but he didn’t keep in shape the way he used to at college or even five years ago. And yet, Clarke Griffin thought he was capital H-hot.

Reading that email Thursday night had given him a high that he rode well into the weekend.

But it still didn’t change the awkwardness of his position. In some ways, it made it worse, didn’t it? Now he hadn’t just read her private conversations about other people, he’d read things she wrote about _him_.

If – and this was still a very big if – they ever met, wouldn’t that make it even weirder?

A better person than Bellamy would have sent them the warning right after reading that email. Scratch that, a better person would have sent them the warning months ago – or just stopped reading their emails altogether. After all, if he’d already decided he probably wasn’t ever going to send them a warning, then there wasn’t really a point in reading them anymore, was there?

Except reading those emails were usually the highlights of his shift – and, yes, Bellamy knew exactly how pathetic that sounded. But he’d felt like that even before there was the possibility she might mention him in an email. And he felt like that still, as the emails continued with no further mention of _her_ Hot guy. No matter how random her emails were, he couldn’t help but be charmed.

**From:** Clarke Griffin

**To:** Harper McIntyre-Green

**Sent:** Tues, 09/28/1999 10:42 AM

**Subject:** Fall

When I walked out of my apartment building this morning there was a sudden gust of wind that blew the biggest pile of leaves I’ve ever seen onto me. You know those old cartoons where someone gets covered in paint or tar and then covered in leaves or feathers that stick to their entire body so all you can see is their eyes and they walk like some kind of zombie? That’s what I must have looked like for a whole minute this morning before the wind took all the leaves away again.

It was amazing!

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Really? It doesn’t sound like a good thing…

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

I just love Fall!

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

I know, but you don’t normally get that excited about it until October.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

That’s because it doesn’t usually feel like Fall until October, you know? But today it does! It’s finally cold enough to wear a sweater and the leaves made it even better :D

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Are you sure there’s nothing else putting you in a good mood?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

I’m sure! I was actually kind of grumpy last night.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

About anything in particular?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

The Delinquents had a party and I left early which makes me a “fucking stiff” apparently.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Who has a party on a Monday night?!

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Musicians, Harper! 

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Don’t some of them have day jobs?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Their day jobs don’t start until late afternoon. And even if they did start early it would be weakness to go home before midnight. Only killjoys leave before midnight.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Yikes. Were the guys annoyed because Finn left with you?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

No, Finn stayed. But when I said I was leaving Daphne, Connor’s girlfriend, thought about going too because she also has a job that starts before noon. However, Connor and some of the other guys pleaded with her to stay and she eventually agreed, which just drew all the more attention to how “lame” I was for going. Not that anyone was pleading with me to stay.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Did you want them to?

Not to sound harsh when I’ve only met them a couple of times, but none of Finn’s bandmates seem like the kind of people you would be close friends with.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

I love that you think that’s harsh.

But no, I’m not close with any of them. Well, I was with one or two back in college – freshman year time, before we met – but that faded a long time ago. And I had already told Finn I had to go early so I didn’t expect anyone to ask me to stay. I didn’t want to stay and it didn’t bother me that no one asked me to.

But it would have been nice if Finn had been sober enough to say something about all the comments instead of just laughing at them.

Not that I have a problem arguing with the rest of them by myself.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

No, I get it. I would have been annoyed if any of Monty’s co-workers had said stuff like that to me and Monty didn’t say anything to them. I’m sorry, that sucks.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Yeah. Hence last night’s crappy mood.

But this morning I woke up and smelled the cold air and realized it’s Fall. So I put on my favorite sweater and scarf and when I went outside and got drowned in leaves it felt like Fall was greeting me. Even when other stuff sucks, I still have Fall.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Too weird?

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

As long as it cheered you up :)

“I can’t believe you convinced me to go for a walk,” Octavia grumbled as the Blake siblings made their way down the sidewalk on Saturday afternoon. She had taken on a brisker pace than the one Bellamy had first set, clearly trying to warm herself up.

“You’re the one who keeps saying I don’t get enough sunlight now I’m working nights,” Bellamy said, tipping his head up. The sky was more grey than blue but it was bright enough.

“And I would happily have gone on this walk in July or August. Maybe even early September. But it’s October now and it’s cold, Bell!”

“But not too cold,” Bellamy said with a grin. “Just enough for a sweater.”

“I don’t know about that,” Octavia shivered, shoving her gloved hands into her coat pockets. “What happened to my grumpy brother who complains as soon as he starts to feel the cold in his bones?”

Bellamy laughed as a few leaves landed on his head and shoulder when he walked under a tree. He flicked most of them off but held onto one, twirling the auburn leaf between his fingers. “I just thought it was a nice Fall day.”

Octavia eyed him suspiciously. “You’re buying me a hot chocolate before we head back.”

* * *

**From:** Harper McIntyre-Green

**To:** Clarke Griffin

**Sent:** Fri, 10/08/1999 11:22 AM

**Subject:** Game night!

Monty’s mom’s sick so we’ve cancelled dinner tomorrow night and Jasper is insisting on a board game night. You in?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Hell yeah, that sounds awesome!

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

The game night, I mean, I hope Monty’s mom’s okay.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

She came down with a cold earlier in the week, but she’s doing a lot better thanks. She’s just still feeling a little rundown.

Will Finn come too?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

I’m not sure, he might have band stuff.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

That’s a shame, it’s been ages since we managed to have a get together where the whole gang could come.

Tell him it would be great to see him even if he can only make it for a little bit!

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Yeah, it’s been a while. The Delinquents are just really busy at the moment, which is great for the band but it means I haven’t seen much of Finn lately either.

But thanks I’ll tell him that :)

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

I hope things are okay with you guys.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Yeah, we’re fine. When we’re together everything’s normal, we just haven’t had a lot of time for that. By the time I get home from work, he’s already left and then he gets back so late that he’s still dead to the world when I wake up for work. We normally manage some time together at the weekend but last weekend he had an out of town concert so we didn’t manage that either.

Do you and Monty ever have times when you’re so busy it feels like you’re more like roommates than a couple?

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

We had a bit of that after we first graduated. I guess we both felt so lucky to have landed our dream jobs straight out of college that we felt like we had to put everything into it, but we were working so many hours we barely saw each other. That went on for about two months before we realized we just couldn’t keep going like that.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Is that when Monty quit working for ALIE?

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Yeah. One night I came home really stressed about everything but then Monty got in and said the sweetest thing so we stayed up all night talking about what we wanted for us. He quit the next day.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

You can’t say he said “the sweetest thing” and not tell me what he said, Harper. That’s not cool.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

There’s a whole story. You might not want all the details.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Cause of me and Finn?

Just because my relationship isn’t at it’s best right now, doesn’t mean I wouldn’t appreciate cute stories about my friend’s relationships. Especially you and Monty.

You don’t have to tell me if it’s something you want to keep private, but I would love to hear about it.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Okay.

I got home that evening really tired and upset after a bad day at work, but I was also seriously hungry because I’d been so busy I hadn’t eaten anything aside from a banana in the morning. So, I looked in the fridge for something to cook because it’s still a few days before payday and we couldn’t afford another takeout, but most of the food that was in there had gone bad because neither of us has been around to use any of it.

And I was staring at some broccoli that was not green at all anymore feeling like a complete failure when I heard Monty open the front door. I wanted to say “Hi” so he’d know I was in, but I was trying to make my voice sound normal first because I knew if I opened my mouth right away he would be able to tell I was upset and we hadn’t seen each other in two days and I didn’t want our first conversation to be me complaining since that’s what all our conversations had become.

So I was staring into the fridge trying to pull myself together when Monty was suddenly there in the kitchen hugging me from behind. And he put his head on my shoulder and said he missed me so much and that his dream job wasn’t his dream job if it meant not seeing me every day.

I guess that looks kind of cheesy in writing. But in the moment it made me feel like everything was going to be okay. Like I was enough.

Okay, that’s even cheesier.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

No, that’s lovely. <3

But in the future, you’re only allowed to tell me sweet stories like that in person because I’m about to cry at my desk.

* * *

When Bellamy headed to the break room on Monday night to have his dinner, he wasn’t expecting to have company. He usually had a few minutes of conversation with a janitor or someone working late on the paper as they passed through, but no one ever stuck around. When he noticed a woman staring down one of the vending machines, he immediately thought of Harper, before shaking his head. It was a different vending machine and it clearly wasn’t her. This was a much shorter, older lady, with a completely different build. It seemed like she was attempting to restock the machine.

“Vera?” Bellamy said once he was inside the break room could see her face. He didn’t know Vera Kane well but he saw her around the office most weeks. Her actual job description was uncertain – Drew had whispered to him one day after she came into the IT backroom to take their recycling that he’d heard Jaha only hired her as a favor to a friend – but Bellamy had never seen her at the vending machines before.

“Oh, hello, Bellamy,” she said easily in a way Bellamy didn’t expect. He didn’t think anyone outside of IT knew his name.

He tried to cover the surprise as he studied her reaching to refill the top of the vending machine. He didn’t want to sound condescending but it looked like she struggling. “I thought Hal normally handled the vending machines,” he said.

“Hal quit. But are they going to hire anyone to replace him?”

Bellamy met her raised eyebrow with a wry smile. “I’m guessing no.”

She shook her head dismissively. “Nope! The rest of us have to split his jobs out between us. No guesses as to whether they thought about who would be best at each task.” She sighed and tried to put a can at the back. She managed, but only just, and it wasn’t the very top level.

“You know, if you want a hand,” Bellamy began, “I’d be happy to help.”

“If you wouldn’t mind,” she said, already offering him the can.

He took the soda can and started filling the top easily, not having to strain the way Vera did.

“I can’t stand soda,” she said absently as she passed him the cans.

“No?”

“Terrible for your teeth. I only drink water or green juice.”

“Green juice?” Bellamy repeated, frowning. He couldn’t think of any fruit juice that was green. “I haven’t heard of it.”

Vera laughed. “Oh, it’s my own creation. All natural ingredients.”

“Ah. From your garden?” He remembered she’d mentioned her garden to him before once when she’d been tidying up the kitchen as he made himself tea.

“Yes,” Vera said, brightening. “I’ve changed the recipe a few times over the years, depending on what’s grown best, but it’s quite a good batch at the moment.”

Bellamy made such quick work of restocking all three vending machines Vera had only gotten halfway through her story about starting the garden with her late husband Paul when he was done. Instead of carrying on with her tasks though, she stayed while Bellamy heated and then ate his dinner, finishing her story and then giving him advice when he admitted to killing the two plants he’d attempted to grow in his apartment.

Vera’s chatter could be a bit aimless at times, but it was still entertaining and it was nice to be eating dinner with someone else for a change. It certainly broke up the monotony of spending most of his shift by himself. He normally varied when he took his dinner break, depending on what he had to do – or whether he was feeling inspired if he had run out of things early and was attempting to use his downtime to write – but when Vera asked him if that was his usual time, Bellamy said yes.

He just couldn’t tell his sister that the most time he spent with a woman recently was yet another lady in her sixties.

**From:** Clarke Griffin

**To:** Harper McIntyre-Green

**Sent:** Tue, 10/12/1999 11:23 AM

**Subject:** The vending machines

When you met my Hot guy did he mention that he knew how to work the vending machines because he worked on them?

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

No. I think he said something about a previous candy emergency.

Why, did you meet him?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Seriously? God, he’s adorable!

And no, unfortunately, I did not meet him. I was walking past the break room on my way out and I saw him in there restocking the vending machines. I guess he must be one of the evening janitors?

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

I guess so.

I’m a little surprised you didn’t go talk to him.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

I might have if he’d been alone, but he was talking to Vera.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

And you didn’t want to get sucked into a conversation with her for fear you’d never leave the building?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Harper! I mean, I know that’s how everyone else feels but I didn’t think it was how _you_ felt.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Vera is really nice and I’m happy to talk to her when I’m not busy, but sometimes she doesn’t notice when you’re only trying to be polite and can’t talk for _that_ long.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Yeah, I know what you mean. I can’t say I’m always that patient with her, especially after that time I had my coat on to go to a gallery opening that I had to review and she kept going on about her new table.

But this time it was more like I didn’t want to interrupt them. It was actually kind of sweet.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Sweet how?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

There my Hot guy was trying to get on with his job restocking the vending machines and Vera was telling him about something to do with her dead husband – which quite frankly is a conversation I would have extricated myself from immediately – but he just nodded along and asked questions like he was interested in the answer and everything.

Thinking about it, she must get kind of lonely. You know, my mom knows Vera’s son Marcus, right? Well, I’m pretty sure he’s Vera’s only family but he’s always out of the country and she lives alone in their house.

Maybe Vera keeps talking because she doesn’t have anyone to talk to outside of work, but most of us are just self-absorbed assholes who can’t recognize anyone else’s problems.

Except for my Hot guy. I guess he’s now my Hot/Sweet guy

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Sounds like he’s Vera’s Hot/Sweet guy.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Ahh, you’re right! Damn, it’s always the ones you least expect.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

How are things with you and Finn?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Harper, I told you not to worry.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

I know. But after what you said about you and Finn the other day and then he didn’t come to Game Night...

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Finn and I are okay. Not our best, but our problems aren’t anything to do with my Hot guy.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Okay.

I just think I would feel weird if I found out Monty called someone _his_ Hot Guy/Girl at work.

* * *

Bellamy had always been adamant he was never going to talk about his crush with anyone. But everything felt so much more complicated now – and in some ways so much more possible, despite the many impossibilities. Clarke hadn’t mentioned him for about a month, but now she thought he was _sweet_. But there was a strong possibility she would think he was a creep if she knew everything.

The stress of debating the same things over and over in his head finally got to him when he was out on Saturday night, one beer being all that was necessary to loosen his lips and get the whole thing off his chest.

In retrospect, he kind of wished he’d waited another week so Miller had been there.

“Let me get this straight,” Murphy began, forehead creased as he tried to make sense of what Bellamy had told him. “You’re into this chick you thought didn’t know you existed, but it turns out she does and she thinks you’re hot? It doesn’t sound like much of a problem to me.” He shrugged and took a sip of his beer.

“There’s also her boyfriend – “

“It doesn’t sound like he’s going to be her boyfriend much longer.”

“And the whole matter of me reading her emails.”

“That’s literally your job.”

“Which I technically haven’t been doing properly since I never sent her a warning,” Bellamy said with a sigh.

“So send her a warning now. And,” he added, “you could even use that to ask her out.”

“No! That would be even more inappropriate.”

“Then just go find her desk and ask her in person.”

“I feel like going looking for her desk is a bit stalker-ish.”

Murphy seemed to be getting bored with the conversation. “How do you plan on meeting her then?”

“I don’t know!” Bellamy said, frustrated. “I’m not sure if I should.”

“Oh, I get it,” Murphy said with a nod. “You’re worried she might not be hot.”

Bellamy shook his head. As much as he never wanted to Octavia to know about this mess, perhaps she would have been a better option than Murphy. “No, that’s not it,” he began, intending to explain that it was the strange circumstances of his knowledge of Clarke Griffin that made Bellamy unsure.

Before he could, however, Murphy interjected, “But she might not be.”

“It doesn’t matter to me what she looks like.”

Murphy let out a loud snort at that. “Man, you are not telling me that there isn’t the tiniest part of you that cares even a little bit what she looks like? I mean, I fell in love with Emori because I think she’s the coolest person I ever met, but we wouldn’t work if I wasn’t also attracted to her.”

“I feel like Emori should be here.”

“Seriously, man.”

“I am serious.” He rubbed his face as he tried to figure out how to explain. “Look, obviously being attracted to someone is important but I’m not worried about it because…you know how sometimes you think someone is hot, but then you get to know them and they have such a terrible personality they become less attractive? Like Josie at college? Or Ontari?”

Murphy shook his head. “I mean, they’re the worst, but both still pretty fucking hot.”

“Didn’t Ontari nearly get Emori fired?”

“And I hate her, but hot is hot.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes. “Well, for me, personality is a factor. And I already know Clarke is really smart and funny and a great friend. And she’s such an amazing writer! So much better than some of the people they’ve got on editorial; though it would be a shame if she stopped doing reviews, her one of the portrait gallery –“ Bellamy cut himself off, realizing he was going off on a tangent at Murphy’s raised eyebrow. “All I’m saying is, I like her personality enough that I already know I would be attracted to her. No matter what she looks like.”

Murphy took a slow swig of his beer, studying Bellamy carefully.

“Well?” Bellamy prompted, the silence making him anxious.

“Sounds to me like you’ve got a lot more than a crush.”

Bellamy sighed and put his head on the table. “I know,” he groaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked the update :)  
> I've got a different fic deadline for later this week so the final part of this is going to be up the week after. In the meantime you can find me on tumblr; my edit for this fic is [here](https://useyourtelescope.tumblr.com/post/190391157948/exactly-the-right-kind-bellarke-fanfiction-t).


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably just stop guessing when I'll have things up for (oops) but here it finally is! This chapter got so long, but I didn't want to make ya'll wait longer by splitting it into more chapters.
> 
> BTW I did research film release dates in 1999 for the cinema trip in this chapter to make it accurate, but when I realised a movie I was into of came out the week after the date they’re meant to be at the cinema I couldn’t help but choose that instead. Also, it turns out that a surprising number of films I still watch came out in 1999.

Bellamy tried not to be disappointed when he looked at the list of flagged emails on Monday night and didn’t see any from Clarke and Harper. It wouldn’t necessarily have helped, but after talking to Murphy about everything on Saturday, Clarke had been on his mind more and therefore he noticed the absence.

Of course, the lack of an email wasn’t weird in itself. It wasn’t like their emails got flagged every day. By Wednesday, however, he started to feel suspicious. By then it had been a whole week since Clarke had appeared in the flagged inbox. Even if there weren’t any emails from her and Harper there was usually one from Clarke to someone else. 

When he reached Friday and there still weren’t any new flagged emails from Clarke, Bellamy started to worry. He’d have assumed she was ill, except he’d seen her name in the paper so she was at least well enough to be submitting her reviews.

The following Wednesday, there was finally an email from Clarke, but it didn’t provide any explanations. It was just a short conversation between her and Maya Vie, flagged only because Clarke thanked Maya for being a “fucking lifesaver” by helping her track something down for a recent review.

At least that told Bellamy Clarke was still using her emails, but it didn’t explain the lack of personal emails. And none of Harper’s other correspondence ever got flagged since Clarke was the one who set the filter off anyway. Clarke might have started censoring herself more, and the email to Maya was a fluke, but that felt out of character. However, the only other thing Bellamy could think of was maybe Clarke and Harper weren’t talking?

He had deleted the last email that had been flagged from the other week, but he remembered it well enough. (Bellamy remembered all the ones that mentioned her Hot guy.) He hadn’t thought much of the fact that Clarke hadn’t replied to Harper’s final comment that she wouldn’t like it if her husband talked about someone at his work the way Clarke did about Bellamy. At the time, he’d been too busy taking in the fact that Clarke had called him Hot _and_ Sweet. But maybe she had let the email trail end there because she was annoyed?

It didn’t seem like her to be annoyed by something like that.

But, a moment later, Bellamy couldn’t help but remind himself that he didn’t know Clarke well enough to wonder if something was “like her”. No matter how personal, emails could only tell you so much. It wasn’t his place to be worrying about the state of Clarke and Harper’s friendship.

His shifts had gotten so quiet though, it was hard to keep his mind away from the subject. It had been a while since anyone had needed IT help so he’d gotten used to only interacting with two people on his shift; Drew briefly when Bellamy arrived, and Vera later on when they had dinner. He asked Drew for more work on Thursday, hoping it would help distract him, but the task Drew gave him was to help with programming for a millennium project that some of the other IT guys were working on during the day. Bellamy didn’t actually have much programming experience, but he didn’t mention it. Trying to figure out how to do it sounded like something that would distract him, though his attempts only served as a reminder as to why he thought IT wouldn’t be a long-term career for him.

Bellamy blamed his combined frustrations for not realizing what Murphy was up to on Saturday until it was too late.

Murphy had called on Saturday morning to say there was a change of plans for that night and they were going to a new bar. Although Bellamy was still half asleep after coming in from the night shift, he’d had the presence of mind to remember that Murphy never liked going anywhere new. Murphy, however, had insisted the bar was still in the same neighborhood as the one they normally went to, saying there was a band playing that Emori wanted to check out, but if they didn’t like it they could go back to their usual.

While sleep-deprived, this had sounded like enough of an explanation to Bellamy. It was only as night had fallen that Bellamy thought it unusual for Emori to introduce the group to a new band; it was normally Murphy who did that. Unfortunately, the truth still didn’t occur to him until he arrived at the bar and saw the posters plastered outside.

**_TONIGHT: The Delinquents!_ **

He deeply regretted telling Murphy the name of Clarke’s boyfriend’s band.

He only had time to sulk at the poster for a minute before Emori and Murphy arrived, walking hand in hand.

“Hey, Bellamy!” Emori called as they came down the sidewalk.

“Hey,” he replied, trying to put a pleasant smile on his face as he turned around.

“So, how’d you hear about this band?” When he didn’t answer right away, Emori added, “Murphy said you’d heard they were good.”

“Right,” Bellamy said, his smile straining somewhat. “Someone at work’s a fan.”

“Cool.” Her face dropped a moment later. “Didn’t Octavia say your only friend at work is an old lady?”

It turned out inviting Octavia and Lincoln to join them for drinks last weekend was something he also regretted. “Vera. But it wasn’t her recommendation.”

“Why don’t we go inside before it gets busy,” Murphy suggested, leading Emori inside, ignoring the daggers Bellamy was staring at him.

The band wasn’t due on stage for another hour, which gave them time to find a table and catch up beforehand. Miller had promised he would join them tonight, after having to cover a shift last minute the previous weekend, but thankfully for Bellamy, Miller still hadn’t arrived when Emori went in search of the ladies.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Bellamy hissed, “You said you wouldn’t say anything.”

“And I haven’t,” Murphy said defensively. “But there’s no reason you can’t go see a band with your friends. Maybe check out a girl at the same time.” When Bellamy shook his head, Murphy continued, “Doesn’t have to be a specific girl. Your Clarke might not be here, but it seems like plenty of women are – and they can’t _all_ go home with the band.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes. “She’s not my Clarke,” he said, taking a careful swig of his beer.

“Hey, if you want to leave, no one’s forcing you to stay,” Murphy replied, looking expectantly at him.

As annoyed as Bellamy was, he couldn’t deny he was curious. And they were already here.

“Hey!” Miller’s greeting cut through the staring match Murphy and Bellamy had found themselves in. “Everything okay?” he added, noticing the strange expressions on their faces.

“Yeah,” Bellamy said, an easier smile on his face as he stood to greet his friend. “Everything’s good.”

And it was, in the end. It was nice to catch up with Miller, whom none of them had seen for a while. And the band turned out to be pretty great, surprisingly.

As much as the petty side of him wanted to hate on them just because Finn was dating Clarke, Bellamy could admit he liked most of the songs. Murphy and Emori seemed to be enjoying themselves. Even Miller, who was never one for dancing at these things, was nodding his head along. It was still a little weird sometimes, looking at Finn and wondering about him and Clarke.

He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but Finn was prettier than he’d imagined.

Not that it made him feel self-conscious – he already knew Clarke thought he was hot, after all – but now that he had seen Finn, Bellamy felt like it was knowledge he didn’t want. He wanted to know more about Clarke, not about her boyfriend.

Bellamy couldn’t help but cast his eye towards the front of the crowd. Plenty of girls were going crazy for the band, but they all seemed to be acting more like groupies than a girlfriend, screaming and trying to touch those closest to the stage. It was usually Finn since he was the lead singer, but Finn was just sharing his attention equally between the crowd.

Deciding he was never going to figure it out amongst all these people, Bellamy let himself relax and just enjoy the music. Emori even convinced him to dance with her when Murphy went to get more drinks. He was actually in a good mood by the time the band left the stage. The four friends weren’t ready to go home yet though, so they took their drinks to the nearest table and started discussing their favorite songs before continuing their conversation from earlier.

By the time it was Bellamy’s turn to go to the bar again, he wasn’t even thinking about Clarke or the band. That changed, however, when he got there and saw Finn only a few feet away from him, with a woman close beside him. He couldn’t see the woman’s face, her blonde hair swept to the side covering it, but he could see her hand was on Finn’s chest.

“Well? What do you say, sugar?” she drawled, sending a sinking feeling into Bellamy’s stomach.

There was no way that was Clarke. Not that he judged that woman, but it just didn’t sound like someone talking to their boyfriend.

He knew he should mind his own business, but he couldn’t help but keep an eye on them, waiting for Finn’s response.

Finn brushed his fringe out of his eyes and smiled at her, but the smile didn’t seem to reach his eyes. Unlike the exuberant energy he’d radiated on stage, up close Finn looked tired.

“Thanks, sweetheart, but no,” he said, taking a step back so her hand fell off his chest.

Finn nodded at the woman, before walking away from the bar. She stared after him disappointedly for a beat, before turning her attention to another man nearby.

Bellamy was pleased to realize that all he felt at the sight of Finn walking away was relief.

Despite the strangeness of seeing Finn, Bellamy enjoyed himself, which is what he told his sister the next day. Of course, the Finn aspect of it was completely absent from his recap to Octavia on Sunday afternoon at the cinema. They’d just bought their tickets to see The Bone Collector, but were waiting for Lincoln to join them.

“You told him the right time for the film, right?” Bellamy said, warily noting other people for their film were starting to go in.

“Yes, Bellamy, I did. I’m sure Lincoln will be here soon.”

“It’s just you said that when we went to see The Matrix and – “

“That was one time!” Octavia grumbled.

“But we missed the first ten minutes!” Bellamy reminded her.

“It was the second time you went to see it!”

“But you and Lincoln hadn’t seen it before! You still don’t know how it starts!”

“We figured it out,” Octavia said, with the long-suffering sigh only a sibling could deliver. “Here,” she added before Bellamy could argue, pushing her extra-large bucket of popcorn into his hands. “I’m going to the ladies’.”

“I thought you said you didn’t need to go.”

“I do now.”

She walked away in a huff, so Bellamy decided to eat some of her popcorn. As long as he did it carefully and didn’t have much she wouldn’t notice. As he glanced up to check Octavia was out of sight, he was just in time to spot her waiting to enter the ladies’ bathroom while someone else walked out.

Bellamy might have only seen her once, but even at a distance, he recognized Harper McIntyre-Green.

His heartbeat sped up of its own accord as he watched Harper navigate her way through the lobby; she was looking for someone. Maybe she was looking for –

He deflated when he saw her join two guys. She slotted in effortlessly by the side of one of them, his arm going around Harper almost automatically. That must be Monty. The other guy was explaining something animatedly and seemed to be unironically wearing goggles on his head.

Bellamy looked down at the popcorn bucket, helping himself to a handful. There weren’t many cinemas in Arkadia, it wasn’t that big of a coincidence to see someone from his building here at the weekend. And it was silly to think Clarke might be there just because Harper was. It wasn’t like he did things with all of his friends whenever he went out.

He couldn’t help but glance over again though, noting the group was still there. Were they waiting for something, like their screen to open? Or, like him, were they waiting for someone to join them?

The next moment, Harper turned her head, causing Bellamy to instinctively direct his gaze back to the popcorn, grabbing another handful before he could tell if she had seen him or not.

He supposed technically he could go over there and say hello. They had spoken after all. If she had just been some random colleague he passed in the break room or stairway occasionally maybe he would have. But he’d read just as many of her private thoughts as he had Clarke’s; knew personal about her relationship. It would be too hard to act casual.

Thankfully, he was saved from worrying about it by Lincoln’s arrival. By the time he had greeted him and handed over Lincoln’s ticket, Harper’s group had disappeared from the lobby.

“So,” Bellamy said, to distract himself, “how was work?”

Lincoln responded positively, telling Bellamy about his morning. Bellamy normally found his stories about working at the Youth Center interesting, but today he was only half-listening. Had Harper gone into the cinema or had she gone home? If she was at the cinema then were they going to see the same film? 

Lincoln’s voice cut through Bellamy’s thoughts when he finished, “Hey, maybe you should try for it.”

“Huh?” Bellamy replied, caught off guard.

“You should apply for the job.”

“Me?” Bellamy said, sounding somewhat dumb. He was saved from having to confess he hadn’t been listening when Octavia returned, having heard Lincoln’s last comment.

“What job should Bellamy apply for?”

“Lukas is officially moving to L.A. and handed his notice in,” Lincoln explained. “They’re going to start looking for a replacement as soon as possible.”

“Oh, yes!” Octavia said, her eyes brightening. “Lukas’ role is similar to Lincoln’s. Bellamy that would be perfect for you.”

“Perfect how?” he replied.

“You’d have a more active job, you’d work more normal hours,” she said, starting to list off on her fingers.

“But working weekends.”

Lincoln confirmed that this was true, but Octavia argued, “Only sometimes! And you’d actually be around people again. I know you miss that,” she finished pointedly. “Your only friend at work right now is an old lady!”

“Hey! She’s a very nice old lady. Sometimes she brings me stuff from her garden,” Bellamy said, making Octavia roll her eyes. “They’re really good!”

“I think it would be a good fit for you, Bellamy,” Lincoln said. “But it would be a noticeable pay cut compared to what you’re on now.”

“Bellamy could manage.”

“I didn’t know you were keeping track of my finances, O.” He said it to annoy her, and he could tell it did.

She frowned and reached for her popcorn. Once the bucket was back in her hands her frown deepened. “Hey, did you eat some of this?”

“So, Lincoln,” Bellamy began, avoiding his sister’s gaze, “tell me more about this job.”

* * *

Bellamy didn’t expect to still be disappointed at the lack of emails from Harper and Clarke, but that was the overriding feeling he had on Monday night. Perhaps it was because of the cinema. He wasn’t sure Harper had seen him, but it seemed likely that she had. Still, that wasn’t news.

Was he so self-absorbed he thought Harper would be desperate to tell Clarke she saw him standing around a movie theatre on a Sunday afternoon? Especially after such a prolonged silence from the two of them.

When did his work life become this? Just waiting to see if people were talking about him?

It made him think about the job more seriously, rather than just humoring it for Octavia’s sake the way he had after the film. When he went to the break room for dinner he decided to talk to Vera about it. He was enjoying having dinner with her. For all she had a reputation for not knowing how to take a hint, Bellamy had found her to be a thoughtful conversation partner. And he wanted an outsider’s opinion.

“What would you be doing in this other job?” Vera asked once he’d mentioned the vacancy.

“Coordinating activities at the youth center. Mmm, these tomatoes are really good,” he added, as he tried the latest item she’d brought him. Most of the fruit was in a bag he was going to take home, but he hadn’t been able to resist trying a couple with his dinner.

Vera nodded in agreement as she had a tomato herself from her salad. “So, no computers then?”

“No. But I never really saw myself as a computer guy.”

She frowned as she swallowed another mouthful. “What made you start working here, then?”

“Honestly? The money,” Bellamy admitted. However, money wasn’t worrying him anymore. He found it hard to admit, after so many years of it being such a source of stress. That was partly why he’d avoided Octavia’s mention of it on Sunday. He’d been thinking about it though and the truth was he could take a job on less money. Of course, it would depend on how much less, but even being in a position to have that option felt alien to him.

Vera nodded. “How about doing a pro/con list? What would you put on a pro list for the Youth Center?”

“I’d like to work with people more. And it would be nice to feel like I was doing something that helped others. Not that I don’t think the newspaper is important, but I’m not exactly contributing to that.”

“Oh, we’re all cogs that keep the machine running, Bellamy,” she said easily. Then, she added kindly, “But I do know what you mean. And the cons?”

 _Clarke_ , came immediately to his mind. Bellamy forced himself to shake the thought.

If reading the email of a girl he didn’t know was his top reason for staying that was even more reason to leave.

“The pay is less,” he said. “And I don’t know if I’ll be any good at it. I’ve been involved in similar stuff before but just volunteering and I had to stop when –“ He cut himself off not wanting to go into the whole story about his mom dying and how that had meant he’d given up things like that to take care of his little sister. Not that Vera wouldn’t listen, but he didn’t want to talk about it. “When I needed to work more.”

Vera eyed him softly but only nodded.

“Also, I might not have enough experience for them.”

“Maybe not. But, there’s no harm in applying is there?”

Bellamy couldn’t argue with that.

He got an application form the next day and spent most of his Tuesday and Wednesday shifts figuring out how best to word his experience. On Thursday and Friday, he switched between working on the programming Drew had asked him to look at and searching for other jobs online. It couldn’t hurt to see what else was out there.

He still checked the flagged inbox every day, but with no new emails from Clarke or Harper, he found it hard to care about reading the rest of them.

By the following Monday, he wasn’t surprised anymore that they were still silent. He’d spent the weekend trying not to think about Clarke – which had gone well on Saturday since he’d mostly just hung out with Miller, though not so well on Sunday when he and Octavia had gone to the museum. But he’d only thought about what Clarke had said about the exhibit in her review twice, which for a whole afternoon’s worth of time didn’t seem that bad. And the flutter of disappointment he’d felt at having no emails from her felt less than before, which he took as a good sign.

The shift began just like they all did recently – namely, with very little for him to do – but when Bellamy returned from the break room after dinner he was surprised to find the desk phone was ringing.

“Hello?” Bellamy said when he picked it up, before realizing he’d forgotten his training. “ _Arkadia Daily_ , IT Helpdesk.”

“Hi!” a bright voice replied. “Thank God, I wasn’t sure anyone was still here. I’m Maya, I work on the third floor. I have to submit this article tonight and my monitor doesn’t want to cooperate anymore,” she explained.

Bellamy asked the standard questions about the problems she was having and whether she had restarted her machine before he left his office for Maya’s desk, taking a new cable with him. She might need a new screen, but they were kept in the store cupboard on another floor so he figured he’d try this first.

There were only three people still on the third floor and two heads were staring intently at their screens, typing away furiously. A girl with dark curly hair waved to him from the other end of the floor so Bellamy went over to her.

Maya was apologetic for having to call him out to her desk at that time as she demonstrated the problem. Bellamy did his best to reassure her that was unnecessary without going so far as to point out that was the whole reason he was in the building.

It was only as he was changing the cable that it occurred to Bellamy that Clarke might be on this floor. She and Maya were both reviewers. He didn’t know much about the layout of the floors, but it was plausible they near each other. They had seemed friendly too from the few emails he’d seen between them, albeit not so close they talked about personal things with each other.

Or maybe they did talk like that; they just didn’t need to email because they sat near each other.

He glanced up to consider the other two people working. His gaze passed over the man to the other woman who was still typing away. He couldn’t see anything apart from red hair peeking out from above her monitor.

“Is something wrong?” Maya wondered, interrupting his thoughts.

“No,” Bellamy said quickly, realizing he had stopped what he was doing. “Almost done.”

He finished the task quickly, though he slightly regretted his correct diagnosis of the cable since he didn’t have any time to look around. Still, he returned the grateful smile Maya flashed him as she said thank you before turning her attention back to her work.

On his way back to the door Bellamy let his eyes wander across the empty desks he passed, surveying the nameplates close enough to read.

He hadn’t honestly expected to see the one he had been looking for, but there it was, only a few rows in front of Maya: Clarke Griffin.

That pod of desks was empty so none of the overhead lights were on, but there was enough light from elsewhere for him to be sure.

There was no harm in taking a peek at her desk, right? It wasn’t snooping if he had to walk past it anyway.

It was fairly tidy, everything neatly organized but the items had an artistic flair. Her stationary had unusual designs that made him think she must have bought them herself rather than using the ones the company provided. A couple of sketches were pinned to the desk partition; scenic views, one of which was of a park not far from Miller’s apartment. A postcard of a painting that he recognized from the exhibit he and Octavia saw to yesterday.

Then his eyes caught on three photo frames next to her monitor.

The two closest to him both had the same young girl with light hair, the first showing her with a man a little older than Bellamy was now, carrying the girl on her shoulders. That must be Clarke and her father, he thought. In the second photo, the girl was with a boy her age, both of them grinning widely at the camera with their arms around each other’s shoulders. The picture reminded Bellamy of some of himself and Octavia when they were kids, although he already knew from her emails that Clarke was an only child.

The picture was partially obscured at this angle by the frame in front, but he thought he could make out a graduation cap. One the side that was visible there was a dark-haired woman in her forties, but if he moved –

“Everything alright?”

Bellamy whirled around, his suddenly racing heartbeat recovering when he realized it was not Clarke Griffin inexplicably returned to her desk, but Maya.

She hadn’t left her desk but had obviously noticed him still standing there. Bellamy couldn’t blame her for the confused look on her face. There wasn’t any explanation for him to be loitering. Even if she wasn’t alone on the floor, it was probably creepy.

“Fine,” he replied, perhaps a little too cheery as he tried to compensate. “Just checking the printer,” he said, hoping it was close enough to Clarke’s desk that she bought the lie.

Maya nodded, seeming to accept this, but Bellamy didn’t hang around to test his luck.

**From:** Clarke Griffin

 **To:** Harper McIntyre-Green

 **Sent:** Tues, 11/09/1999 13:47 PM

 **Subject:** I don’t know

How you can stand to work on the same floor as McCreary. Just five minutes with him was fucking torture! I wanted to stab myself with a spoon.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

A spoon? Wouldn’t that be difficult?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Exactly. Still preferable to having to listen to McCreary.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Did you just email Wells about me?

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Maybe.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Don’t encourage him, Harper, he already worries too much. I’m fine!

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

A fine person doesn’t need to keep telling people they are fine.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

They do when their friends are such worriers.

It didn’t take Bellamy long to read and then re-read the short email. He deleted it from the flagged mailbox before he could re-read it a third time but then immediately regretted that decision.

At least it confirmed Harper and Clarke hadn’t had a falling out or anything. But that meant something had happened. Otherwise, why would Harper be worried? Why did Clarke have to keep telling Harper and her friend Wells that she was fine?

He couldn’t help but feel worried about her. Of course, she clearly had friends who were checking on her welfare so it wasn’t like she needed his concern.

Still, if he wasn’t worrying about Clarke, he would just be worrying about whether he’d get an interview for the job.

He wasn’t sure which one was worse.

**From:** Clarke Griffin

 **To:** Harper McIntyre-Green

 **Sent:** Weds, 11/10/1999 09:17 AM

 **Subject:** My hairdryer

Could you check if I’ve left my hairdryer at your place, please? I thought I just hadn’t unpacked it, but I looked in all the boxes last night and still couldn’t see it. I would like to come to work one day this week without crazy hair.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

I didn’t notice it, but I’ll check tonight. But I saw the back of your head when you were with McCreary yesterday and your hair looked fine.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

You are a bad liar.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

What makes you think I’m lying?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

You are normally much more complimentary than that. If you think my hair looks ‘fine’, I must really need to tame this mess!

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

I only said fine because I didn’t get a close look. I’m sure you looked fabulous!

How’s the new place anyway?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Good. It’s kind of weird. Finn and I had lived in that apartment for so long now, it’s hard to get used to the idea that I’m in a new place permanently.

On the other hand, spending my evenings alone feels about the same, which I guess just shows how little Finn and I were seeing each other at the end there.

At least I have plenty of unpacking to keep me busy!

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Well, if you need any more help setting things up, you know Monty and I are happy to come over.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

You guys have done way more than enough, seriously. You should both be sick of the sight me after the last few weeks.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Of course not! In fact, I wanted to watch the newest episode of Relic Hunter last night and Monty said we had to wait for you to watch it.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Ha! But we were watching it separately before?

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Yeah, but he enjoys your commentary – as do I. You’ll have to come round one night to watch it.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Sounds good :)

Bellamy did not get any work done that night.

Now that he had the missing details it all made sense. They didn’t need to email each other randomly during the day if Clarke was seeing Harper every day. But now Clarke had a new apartment and didn’t need to stay with Harper anymore.

And she was single.

He tried not to think about that too much.

But he did look up that show Relic Hunter at the weekend.

**From:** Harper McIntyre-Green

 **To:** Clarke Griffin

 **Sent:** Mon, 11/15/1999 09:32 AM

 **Subject:** Hey

How’s it going?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

A little busy, but otherwise good. You?

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Great!

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Cool :)

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

So, we’re just not going to talk about Finn turning up at my door on Saturday, begging for you to take him back?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

I really am sorry you and Monty had to deal with him. I thought he’d outgrown that. 

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Like I said, you don’t have anything to apologize for. I just wanted to check you were okay.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Wait, what do you mean outgrown? Has he done that before?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

I’m fine, it’s more annoying than anything. I called him on Sunday morning and we met for coffee. I wanted to talk about how why him bugging my friends to talk to me wasn’t a good idea, but he just wanted to talk about how great we were and why we should get back together!

There I was thinking we’d had a mature breakup and mutually agreed it wasn’t working anymore, but suddenly he ‘can’t do this without me’. It was like he hadn’t listened to anything I’d said in our breakup.

To be honest, I don’t even think he actually wants to get back together, he just doesn’t know how to be single after so long. Or maybe he just doesn’t know how to do his own laundry :/

And yeah, he has, but that was a long time ago – hence, why I thought he had matured enough to know better this time.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

I’m sorry, that is really annoying.

I didn’t realize you and Finn had broken up before.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Yeah. It was actually before I met you.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Oh. But I remember you telling me when you guys started dating? I thought you said you were friends from your freshman year classes. 

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

We were, that just wasn’t the whole truth…

Sorry! If it makes you feel better you weren’t the only person I didn’t tell the whole story to.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

That’s okay. Though it would make me feel better to know what the actual story was…

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Only if you want to talk, of course. No pressure!

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

It’s fine. I know I haven’t talked much about the breakup despite you putting me up for weeks. I didn’t quite know how to talk about it before, but this weekend has actually helped put things in perspective.

I do need to finish some work first though, so give me about an hour and I’ll tell you everything!

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

I told you, that wasn’t conditional. And you were an excellent houseguest!

But, yeah, I can give you an hour :)

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

So.

My first day as a college freshman Finn sat next to me in my second lecture. He was super cute and charming and I was 18 and easily charmed. It only took a few more classes before I was daydreaming about him being my boyfriend, but I still couldn’t believe it when he asked me out three weeks later. I’d been single since sophomore year when Niylah moved away and it was crazy to me how quickly I liked him, and that he seemed to like me back a lot.

In many ways, he was a very nice boyfriend for the next few weeks. Sweet and sensitive, fun to be with. Good kisser. For a month I was convinced that I had lucked out and found this dream guy my first day at college.

And then I went to his dorm to surprise him for our one month anniversary and he was having sex with another woman.

You remember my friend Raven, who works for NASA? She was at the New Year’s party Finn and I had the year before last?

Raven was that other woman. That’s how we met.

Though, technically, Raven wasn’t the _other_ woman – I was. She and Finn had been together all through high school, but then they got accepted into different colleges.

She had thought they were trying to do long-distance.

He had thought they’d broken up but were staying friends.

Having sex with her after realizing the misunderstanding was “an accident” apparently.

Long story short, Raven and I both dumped him. She’d driven over for a spur of the moment visit and didn’t know anyone else so she ended up staying with me. We ignored Finn’s calls and used Raven’s fake ID to get drunk a lot.

Of course, she had to go back to her college and thanks to classes I couldn’t avoid Finn entirely. He kept apologizing and saying he wanted to get back together and I was the one he really wanted to be with. Which I just didn’t get at all – even if I hadn’t met Raven and seen how awesome she was, I couldn’t believe he would give up a four-year relationship for me, someone he barely even knew. 

It took a while, but he stopped asking, even though I could tell sometimes he still wanted to. I just didn’t see how we could ever get past that. We didn’t have any classes together the next semester so we didn’t see each other as much.

And then I met Lexa.

You already know how all that went down, I promise.

I barely saw him during that time and for a while I thought I’d just remember him as the guy who inadvertently introduced me to one of my best friends. By the time Lexa had left and Finn and I started hanging out again in junior year, I felt like so much had changed since we’d dated. And when he told me that he was different now I believed him because I knew I was different.

It wasn’t like I ever thought what he did was okay, but the longer we stayed together, the less of a big deal it became to me. Like, what was one month of bad decision-making at 18 compared to the years we spent together after that? It wasn’t like I was actively thinking about it all the time we’ve been together since junior year.

But when we met up yesterday he told me how he hasn’t been with anyone else, even though he’s had “tons” of offers. Not just since we broke up, but since the band took off. – And I knew that; I might not have been to any recently, but I’ve seen the way some girls throw themselves at him after concerts. But I hadn’t been losing sleep over it or anything. When we got back together I decided if the relationship was going to work I’d have to trust him, you know? So I had never actually been worried he was cheating on me. Even these last few months – hell, maybe this last year – as I felt the distance growing between us and denied it until I couldn’t pretend we were good any more, I never thought he was cheating.

It was just the way he said it, like it was this huge thing. As if that alone was enough reason to get back together with him. Because he’d been faithful all this time when he didn’t need to be. Like that isn’t the fucking bare minimum of being in a committed relationship.

And it made me feel like he resented me a little. But if he didn’t want to have a girlfriend preventing him from having sex with a new groupie every week why didn’t he just break up with me ages ago?

Maybe he didn’t mean it that way, it just – it’s made me feel like I wasted all that time with him.

Okay, maybe not _all_ that time. I know we were good for a while. But when Finn was insisting he still loved me yesterday, I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Finn is in love with the idea of me more than he was ever actually in love with me. Or even the idea of being in love.

Maybe we both were.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

You did not have to come to my desk and give me a hug.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

I really did.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Well, you made Maya worry I was dying so thanks for that.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Oops!

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Seriously though. Thanks <3

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Anytime <3

* * *

Bellamy got the job.

He was even excited about it when he got the call, his enthusiasm for the position having grown during the interview. Despite feeling like it had gone well, he’d still been worried about not having enough experience, so he assumed Lincoln’s recommendation must have helped swing it.

Octavia was so happy about it she was only slightly mad he insisted on telling Lincoln the good news first.

He handed in his notice the same day he found out, and it felt surreal when he sat down to his desk knowing he only had two weeks before he would be out of the building.

Only two weeks to decide what to do about his feelings for Clarke.

It had been a week since she’d sent the email to Harper detailing her history with Finn, but despite having had that time to consider what she’d written (in between stressing about the job) he didn’t feel any more confident on what his course of action should be.

He wanted to say something before he left. He didn’t know how, or what, but he wanted to. And the email had made it clear she wasn’t hung up on Finn, which was a positive. But he still wasn’t sure how she’d feel about another relationship so soon after.

More importantly, the email had been so personal he felt guilty that he’d read it, more so than he already felt about all the others.

And he couldn’t help but come back to what she’d said about Finn: that he had been in love with the idea of her.

Wouldn’t she just think the same of Bellamy?

At least when it came time for dinner, having Vera provided a welcome distraction. She was refilling the vending machines, the company having eventually provided her with a stool after she complained about being too short for the task.

“You know I don’t mind doing it,” Bellamy reminded her as she shuffled the stool down to the second vending machine.

“Thank you, but I’m going to have to get used to it now you’re leaving us,” she said, smiling over at him before starting on her task.

He still frowned as he put his food in the microwave. Her movements seemed slower than they had when she’d insisted on completing the same task herself the last two weeks, her right arm in particular.

“Is your arm bothering you?”

She sighed. “It’s just from rearranging the living room. It’ll be fine.”

Vera had mentioned wanting to rearrange the furniture to make way for her new cabinet last week, but he hadn’t realized she would be doing the heavy lifting. “You’re not doing that by yourself, are you?”

“Marcus is still away and the last time he hired someone to move my furniture they were so careless they broke one of the figurines Paul’s mother had bought me,” she explained. “I’m not doing that again.”

“If you need a hand, I’d be happy to help.”

“Really?”

“Sure. I could come over this weekend if you want?” he offered. The microwave dinged so he stirred his food before setting the timer again.

“That would be helpful,” she said, getting off the stool and locking up the machine. “There’s not that many pieces to move. The shelves are the heaviest, but I’ll have emptied them, of course.”

“I’m sure I’ll manage,” Bellamy replied with a smile. He was about to arrange a time to visit when his attention was caught by a woman entering the break room, heading straight for the machine Vera had just finished restocking.

She looked about Bellamy’s age, maybe a little younger. A little shorter too. He was sure he had never seen this woman before; he would have noticed her if he had, with her curvy figure and loose blonde waves that framed her face. He knew he shouldn’t ogle, but it was hard not to notice the way her jeans clung to her shapely legs.

Vera had moved beside him by that point, to get her food from the fridge, but when she straightened and saw the woman Vera smiled.

“Hi Clarke,” Vera said.

Bellamy was sure he stopped breathing.

A single word – fuck – replayed on a loop in his head.

This was Clarke Griffin.

It had to be. There surely couldn’t be two Clarke’s in the office – at least not two women.

And she was gorgeous.

 _Fuck_.

“Hi Vera,” she said with a wide smile. The stretch of her lips drew Bellamy’s attention to a beauty mark above her lip.

Her eyes – a brilliant blue – flickered over to Bellamy and she directed her smile at him too, softening it slightly.

A grin broke over his face, unbidden. He opened his mouth to say something and then –

Nothing.

_Hi, how’s it going?_

_Hey, you working late tonight?_

_Hi, I’m Bellamy._

Various terrible options ran through his head, but any of them would have been better than what he actually did: stayed silent while his mouth hung open.

He practically jumped when the microwave dinged, alerting him that his food was ready.

By the time he looked back at Clarke, she had returned her attention to the vending machine.

“How’s your mother doing?” Vera asked as she moved to one of the tables.

“Good,” Clarke said, bending down to retrieve her candy. “How’s Marcus?”

“Oh, you know him. Always going somewhere new.”

“Yeah. Well, I’ll see you later.”

“Don’t stay too late,” Vera said.

Clarke smiled in response. This one was only for Vera though; Bellamy got nothing more than a glance before she left as silently as she’d entered.

Bellamy stared at the countertop as his breathing returned to normal.

Well, he had completely blown that. His one chance to have a regular co-worker interaction with Clarke and he’d just stood there like a deer in headlights. But she’d looked so pretty and cozy with her green sweater and soft smile and –

“Is your food not done?”

“Oh, uh, I think it’s fine now.” He took his food out of the microwave and quickly sat down.

“She’s single, you know.”

“What?” Bellamy said sharply, jerking his head towards his companion. Was he that obvious?

However, Vera didn’t seem to be that interested in his answer as she picked at her salad. “Clarke. I heard she’s single now. She’s a nice girl. At your age, you should be dating.”

Bellamy wanted so much to ask more, but he didn’t want to seem too keen. He let out an awkward laugh, trying to deflect. “Have you been talking to my sister?”

Vera smiled softly. “I’m serious, Bellamy. Even I’m dating.”

“You are?” Bellamy said, surprised. Vera had yet to mention that.

“Yes. Actually, I have a date on Saturday so we’ll have to be careful when we arrange what time you’re coming over. I don’t want Roger to see you at my house and get the wrong idea.”

Bellamy couldn’t help a laugh at that. “Of course.”

**From:** Harper McIntyre-Green

 **To:** Clarke Griffin

 **Sent:** Wed, 11/24/1999 10:35 AM

 **Subject:** Are you busy today?

I was going to take a long lunch and do some Christmas shopping. Come with me?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Fuck I haven’t even thought about Christmas presents! You’re so organized.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

I don’t feel like it. Normally I have loads done by October, but I’m behind this year. And Monty’s so hard to buy for, I need to research what’s out there early.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Really? I always find Monty easy to buy for. He’s normally happy with new games or DVDs.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Yeah, but he always gets me something really thoughtful and romantic so I feel like I have to get him something really special. Help me!!!

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

I’m not sure I’ll be much help on the thoughtful and romantic gift front, but I can provide moral support. I stayed late last night to finish my review so pretty quiet today.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Awesome. Meet you downstairs at 12.30? 

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Sure :)

He wished it didn’t bother him that Clarke hadn’t mentioned her Hot guy in that email to Harper. After all, it didn’t necessarily mean she didn’t mention him at all. Maybe she had talked about him in a different email trail that hadn’t been flagged. Maybe she decided to just mention it in person since they were going to meet for lunch.

But he didn’t find either option unlikely. She’d said she was quiet so it wasn’t like she had too much work on to talk about it before lunch. She’d written that whole piece about Finn on a day when she _was_ busy.

More likely that she just didn’t mention him because the meeting hadn’t held the same significance for her as it did for him.

There he’d been debating approaching her in the little time he had left at _Arkadia Daily_ , but she had forgotten all about him now she didn’t need to distract herself from a failing relationship.

He deleted the email and left his desk. He needed a better distraction than he’d find there so he went to the store cupboard on the first floor where they kept all the large hardware backups. Then he emptied the whole thing, dusting and re-organizing every item, ensuring all the labeling was up to date.

Bellamy thought he’d done a good job, but had been surprised to arrive at work the next day and find Drew looking emotional until his boss passed on the directive he’d had from the board that afternoon.

“They’re letting me go?” Bellamy said, his nose wrinkled in confusion. “But I already gave my notice.”

“I know,” Drew said with a sigh. “The board has decided that since you might read emails of a confidential and sensitive nature they’d rather not keep you on any longer now that you’re already leaving. You’ll still get paid for the two weeks,” he added. “They just don’t want you to come in.”

“Huh.” Bellamy stared at Drew blankly. “So, do you want me to just go home now –“ Bellamy began, gesturing behind him. He hadn’t even taken his coat off yet.

“You can collect your stuff, say goodbye to people,” Drew said. “But Scott will be up to see you out if you’re not in the lobby by half-past.”

Bellamy nodded. “Okay.”

Drew had to leave so said his goodbyes, leaving Bellamy alone in the IT office.

He glanced at the clock and saw it was nearly five minutes past the hour. That meant he had twenty-five minutes to be out of the building.

He hadn’t been able to make his mind up what to do about Clarke for months and he had to decide in twenty-five minutes.

He knew he shouldn’t check the flagged inbox. That was the reason he was being asked to leave early.

But he had to check just one last time. 

**From:** Harper McIntyre-Green

 **To:** Clarke Griffin

 **Sent:** Thu, 11/25/1999 09:07 AM

 **Subject:** Your Hot guy

He’s back!

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Had he left?

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Well, no, but we haven’t seen him in ages aside from that time at the cinema. And when I was leaving yesterday I noticed him sorting out one of the store cupboards.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

I thought you weren’t encouraging me.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

That was before. You’re single now. You could start dating again.

And why not someone who looks good bending over?

I mean, seriously. I’m a married woman, but my God.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Haha. Yeah, married or not Harper, I don’t think anyone could blame you for checking my Hot guy out.

But I actually already have a date on Saturday.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

What! With who??? You didn’t tell me you’d met anyone!

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

I haven’t met him actually, Wells set me up with him.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

You should have told me you wanted to be set up.

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

I didn’t really. I mean, I’m not opposed but I wasn’t sure I was ready for it. I was just having dinner with Wells and Sasha Tuesday night and Wells mentioned his friend Gabriel (that’s his name) from the gym. He’s also recently come out of a long-term relationship and was trying to start dating again. He asked Wells if he knew anyone and I thought ‘Why not?’.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Oooh. What else do you know about him?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Not much. We spoke on the phone last night to arrange Saturday, but he didn’t talk much about himself. I’m guessing he’s very different from Finn since Wells was never a big fan of his. But the only other thing Wells said was Gabriel is some kind of scientist and he’s hot.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

But is he hotter than your Hot guy?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Haha – that would probably be hard. Especially in the ass department ;)

But I think I need to date someone who I haven’t already contaminated with a nickname.

I’m kind of excited about it. Is that weird? It’s not even been two months since Finn and I officially broke up.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

I don’t think there’s a right amount of time to get over someone, it just depends on the person.

Plus, you and Finn weren’t having much of a relationship for a long time before you split up.

I’m glad you’re excited about it! Where are you and Gabriel going on this date?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

That new restaurant Sanctum. His friend is the manager so he got a reservation.

<< **Harper to Clarke** >>

Oooh fancy! Didn’t Diyoza give them five stars in her review?

<< **Clarke to Harper** >>

Yeah, and she is strict about that. I figure at least I’ll a good meal even if it’s a bad date.

Strangely, the email helped. It hurt to see the confirmation that he was never a serious consideration for her, even now that she wanted to start dating, but it made things clear. He knew what to say.

He took a few sheets out of paper out of the copier and started writing.

 _Clarke_ , he began before crumpling up the paper. They weren’t exactly on first-name terms.

_Hello,_

_You don’t know me, but I’m the guy whose job it is to enforce the company’s email policy. Yours get flagged a lot. I should have sent you the warnings the way I’ve done for everyone else, but I didn’t because your emails made me like you and I didn’t want to stop hearing from you and your friend, Harper._

_This was a serious invasion of your privacy and hers, and I deeply apologize._

_I won’t blame you for turning me in, but I’m leaving anyway. I should never have taken a job reading other people’s emails and I shouldn’t have used my role as an excuse to keep reading yours._

_I thought I should warn you before I go about using your company computer to send personal emails._

_I truly am sorry._

He didn’t give himself time to second guess what he’d written, quickly folding it up and packing the few personal things he’d kept at his desk.

First, he went looking for Vera, wanting to let her know why he wouldn’t be there tonight even if they already had plans for the weekend. By the time he’d found her and said goodbye he had about eight minutes to leave the letter on Clarke’s desk and go downstairs.

That seemed like plenty of time until he got to her floor and realized a lot of people were still in.

It wasn’t that late yet, he realized. Most people hadn’t gone home yet.

He had a moment of panic, but a quick scan showed him that Clarke’s desk was empty. He walked over to it briskly and put the folded piece of paper on her desk. Then, he tucked it under the keyboard and put the mouse on top as well so it didn’t fall off.

Then, Bellamy left and didn’t look back.

* * *

On Friday Bellamy canceled his subscription to _Arkadia Daily_ and called the Youth Center to let them know he could start earlier than expected. He couldn’t avoid talking about the office when he went to Vera’s on Saturday morning, but his friends and his sister were more than happy to discuss other topics when he saw them at the weekend.

He loved his new job; working with people again, working with kids especially. He’d never tell his sister, but it really was a good fit for him. It tired him on busy days, but he liked that too.

Octavia’s delight at him starting the new job was only outweighed a week later when he agreed to let her set him up with her co-worker.

Gina was nice. Lovely and kind and pretty. Every time he made her laugh he felt warm inside.

But something was missing.

He blamed it on December. It had to be the worst month to start a relationship. Everywhere he went people were cozying up to a significant other; the songs and adverts were telling him he should be with his one true love.

And as much as he tried to tell himself he needed to give it more time, by the time Christmas came around he knew it wouldn’t last. They broke up a week after New Year’s, and even that was nice. Gina didn’t seem that disappointed, which made him feel better, and when she said they should stay friends, he believed they would.

He didn’t think about Clarke as much anymore. There were times it was unavoidable. When he watched Relic Hunter and wondered what Clarke might say about the episode. When Murphy and Emori wanted to go to another Delinquents concert. But even those things stopped being painful. Even looking at Finn didn’t hurt the way he thought it might. Finn was just another person who wasn’t Clarke.

The only major downside to the new job turned out to be working weekends, as that changed his routine. But he was glad to have his evenings back, which allowed him to see his friends and his sister more often. And having the occasional weekday off let him do things certain things he’d come to enjoy while he’d been at the paper. The main one was going to busy places like the museum on a weekday afternoon when it was a lot quieter even if it did mean he was there by himself.

He’d decided to do just that one Thursday in February to see the new exhibit, but had barely stepped inside the main entrance when he stopped dead in his tracks.

Clarke was picking up a leaflet and putting it into her handbag just a few feet away from him. Unless he moved quickly she would –

She didn’t smile when she saw him. But she didn’t look upset either. Just shocked.

He probably should have thought about it more; what he would do if he saw her. They didn’t exactly live in New York or Tokyo, it shouldn’t be so surprising to run into each other.

But he wasn’t prepared. Even though he’d read her reviews of the different exhibits, the museum was somewhere he thought of as his.

“Excuse me!”

Bellamy jerked to the side, apologizing to the disgruntled patron he’d been blocking. They hurried past him, muttering to themselves.

When he looked back up Clarke was still staring at him, but her expression was softer. Curious.

She took four steps until she was a foot away from him.

Bellamy wanted to shrink under her careful gaze, but he couldn’t look away from her eyes, even more vividly blue than he remembered.

“You know, I’ve spent so long wondering what I’d say to you,” she said, her voice huskier than he had realized from the brief time he’d heard her speak, “that you’d have thought I’d figured something out by now.”

All the breath left Bellamy’s lungs. “You have?”

Clarke laughed, but it had an edge to it. “I guess when I do I’ll have to send it to someone else in an email.”

Bellamy flinched. He hadn’t been sure if Clarke would realize the IT guy who left her the note and the Hot janitor were the same guy, but apparently, she had.

“Sorry,” she said, looking away. “Sorry. I’m bad at this.”

“No.” Bellamy cleared his throat. “I probably deserve that.”

Clarke bit her lip, studying him again. She took a deep breath before she said, “Do you want to get a coffee?”

“Yeah.” Bellamy didn’t trust himself to say anything else.

They were quiet as they went to the museum café and got their drinks. They found a table near the back and sat down opposite each other, both of them sitting carefully upright in their chairs.

Despite his nerves, Bellamy couldn’t take his eyes off Clarke. The shitty break room lighting hadn’t done her justice. Now, with daylight streaming in through the windows, she was even more beautiful than he remembered. 

“I’m sorry,” Bellamy began, uncomfortable with the silence.

“Don’t,” she interrupted. “That’s not why I asked you to talk.”

“I still want to apologise though.”

“You said in your letter.” She took a slow sip of her coffee. “Why did you write that letter?”

“I wanted to come clean.”

“Anonymously.”

Bellamy nodded in acknowledgment. “It was a cowardly apology. But I wanted to tell you the truth,” he said, not saying it wasn’t all he wanted to tell her. “I swear I didn’t leave any letters for anyone else.”

“So I’m special?” Clarke said, a wry smile on her face.

“Yeah. Well, not for that, but – yeah.” Bellamy started drinking his coffee before he could embarrass himself further.

She softened. The sunlight made her hair look like honey melting into her caramel coat. She played with her large scarf before admitting in a quiet voice, “I asked Vera about you.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. That was how I realized you were – that the letter was from you. She told me about how much you helped her out. And your name.”

It hadn’t occurred to him yet that she might not have known his name otherwise. “How is she?”

“Good. Though from what she’s said I imagine you’ve seen her more recently than I have.”

He had gone round to Vera’s a few times since that first weekend, mostly to help her with things around the house. She had never mentioned Clarke asking about him though. “Not for the last week or so. She’s been busy with her latest boyfriend.”

Clarke smiled down at her coffee. “Yeah, she mentioned. Maybe I should have asked her for tips; she’s had a lot more dating success than I have lately.”

“Things didn’t work out with Gabriel?”

Her expression tightened infinitesimally. “You read about him, huh?”

Bellamy wished he hadn’t spoken. Is this what it would be like though? Trying not to mention things because of how he’d heard about them? “Yeah. Only once,” he added, unable to help the apologetic tone to his voice.

She didn’t seem annoyed. If anything she looked amused as she said, “Well, Gabriel was cool, but his ex-girlfriend turned out to be fucking crazy. She followed us to a restaurant on our third date, took a knife from the kitchen and tried to stab both of us.”

“Shit!” Bellamy exclaimed. He had not expected that. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Clarke replied with a wave of her hand. “Nobody got hurt in the end. But it seemed like he had feelings for her even though she had tried to murder both of us. I didn’t want to go near that.”

Bellamy nodded vehemently. “Sure.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t hear about it actually. It made the paper. Not that I was allowed to write the story.”

“I, uh, haven’t been keeping up with the local news much. I thought it would help.”

Clarke’s brows wrinkled. “Help with what?”

Bellamy forced himself to say what he hadn’t admitted to any of his friends. “Help me get over you.”

He could feel her sudden intake of breath from across the table. She chewed her lip, her gaze flickered between his face and the wall behind him. “I’ve thought a lot about what you meant in your note when you said you _liked_ me,” she said finally, all in a rush. “I guess I just don’t understand how you could feel that way from only reading my emails.”

“I don’t think I could explain it if I tried. That’s just how I feel.” The quick tilt of her head back to his made Bellamy realise just what he’d said. _Feel_ , not felt. Present, not past.

_Shit._

She shook her head then, almost trying to shake it off. “But you didn’t even know what I looked like,” Clarke argued.

“I didn’t have to know. I knew I liked you before I saw you.”

Clarke let out a deep breath. “I don’t know how to believe that. I mean, you must have had an image of me in your head.”

“I didn’t know how to picture you. I didn’t know anyone like you. So when I saw you that day in the breakroom, you just looked like the girl that I liked.”

Clarke stared at him open-mouthed for a second before she looked away.

“You probably don’t remember it,” he said quickly, recalling her lack of correspondence the next day.

“No, I remember,” she said softly. She stared intensely at her fingernails. “I actually…” she stopped and sighed, shaking her head again. Bellamy didn’t dare interrupt her train of thought. “I heard you talking to Vera before I went in, about helping her with some furniture. I thought to myself: This is it. I’m going to go in and introduce myself and we would have this cool conversation and you’d want to go on a date with me,” she said with evident embarrassment, as if it wasn’t everything Bellamy wanted to hear. “But then you smiled at me…and it felt dangerous.”

Still trying to process her previous sentence, Bellamy could only manage, “Dangerous how?”

“I liked it too much. Before that I’d thought you were attractive. And I’d had a little crush on you – more than I ever really let on to Harper – but I hadn’t thought anything would come of it while I was Finn. After Finn and I broke up, and I started thinking about dating again, I thought it couldn’t hurt to find out if you were single at least. But then you smiled at me and…” Clarke played with her fingernails again, heat coloring her cheeks. “It was like I felt this sudden pull to be near you and I hadn’t felt that way about anyone in a long time. And it scared me. To feel that way about someone I didn’t even really know.” She finally looked up at him, her eyes a little sad. “I was worried about the idea I’d created of you in my head, all from what you looked like and knowing you were nice to old ladies. I thought maybe it would be better not to burst that bubble.”

Bellamy didn’t know what to say to that.

“Didn’t you ever think I would be a disappointment if you really got to know me?”

“No,” he said immediately, but Clarke didn’t look convinced.

“Never? Isn’t that why you never tried to talk to me?”

Bellamy shook his head. “Maybe I should have thought that, but I didn’t. I was just too worried you’d think I was a creep. I could never figure out a way to approach you and have it be normal.”

“Maybe it can’t be,” Clarke said too easily as if she didn’t realize the pain it caused him. “But,” she added carefully, “I’ve never been a big fan of normal.”

She smiled at him, bright and wonderful. “I just have this feeling about you. Is that weird?”

His voice was thick with restrained emotion when he replied, “I don’t think I can call anyone weird.”

Clarke let out a delighted giggle. It was the best thing he’d ever heard.

“What now?” he asked.

Clarke bit her lip, drawing his eyes back to her beauty mark. “Maybe we could go on a date?”

Bellamy let out a breath he hadn’t noticed he’d been holding. “That would be great.”

“There’s this exhibit that I need to check out in the next,” she paused to check her watch, “three hours. If you want to join me.”

Bellamy beamed. “I’d love to.”

He tried not to feel too gratified at the way Clarke’s cheeks brightened. And then he realised there was no reason not to anymore.

The problem with suddenly having a date with a girl he’d liked for months was that Bellamy was not prepared at all. It seemed all conversational ability had left him as soon as they had vacated the café for the first hall of the exhibition. They stood silently next to each other staring at a vase, both glancing at each other. Bellamy had shoved his hands into the pockets of his dark green jacket, not knowing what else to do with them.

Clarke had taken off her coat and was holding it over her forearm. The pink sweater she wore over jeans brought out the pink in her lips, and it looked just as soft and snuggly as the green one she’d been wearing that day in the break room.

But there would never be any snuggling if he couldn’t say _something_.

“So…” Bellamy said finally, “did you do anything for New Year’s?”

“Actually, Jaha made us some of us work so we could report on Y2K.”

“Right.”

“But we did a pretend New Year’s thing a few weeks later at Harper’s.”

“How is Harper?” Bellamy asked before he could stop himself.

She hesitated, but eventually just said, “She’s good. What about you, how was your New Year’s?”

“My sister and her boyfriend hosted a party. It was fun.”

“Is your sister older or younger than you?” she asked as they moved to look at the next piece.

“Younger. Octavia’s about six years younger than me.”

“Octavia and Bellamy,” Clarke said thoughtfully. “Your parents must have liked unusual names. Not that I can say anything about unusual names,” she added wryly.

“Bellamy’s a family name,” he explained. “On my mom’s side. And I chose Octavia’s name.”

“ _You_ named your sister Octavia?” she said, skepticism all over her face. “At the age of six?”

“I was really into the Roman Empire,” he admitted, ducking his head sheepishly. “I thought I was like Emperor Augustus and he –“

“Had a sister Octavia,” she finished with a smile. Her eyes were drawn to the painting they were now in front of but the smile remained on her lips.

“Do you –“ Bellamy began and then cut himself off abruptly. He had been about to ask her if she had siblings when he remembered he already knew she was an only child. That reminded him _why_ he knew that information already which made him feel awkward again.

“Do I?” Clarke prompted, noticing his sudden silence.

“Do you like museums?” He wanted to slap himself the moment he’d said it. It was the first thing that had popped into his head, but it was the stupidest possible thing to say.

She let out a peal of surprised laughter. “Yeah, I like museums,” she said, still laughing as they shuffled over to the next painting. “I’d be pretty miserable doing my job if I didn’t. You ever been on a date before?”

“Not that many,” he admitted. “I only started in December.”

“No.” It came out as more of a statement than a question despite the shock in her eyes.

“It’s true, I had my first official date in December. First few, but it didn’t work out. What?”

“It’s just surprising.”

“Why?” he said, unable to help a little bit of a smirk at the look she gave him.

Her shock faded quickly though and she met him with a smirk of her own. “You already know I think you’re hot so don’t go fishing.”

“Okay, okay. I just wasn’t interested in anything serious before so there didn’t seem any point in dating.”

“And now? You’re looking for something serious?”

“Yeah. I –“

Clarke looked at him expectantly.

“I’m kind of hoping I’m not still looking.”

Clarke cleared her throat, though he caught the hint of a flush on her cheeks. “For someone who’s not been dating long, that’s quite a line.”

“It’s not a line,” Bellamy said softly.

“I guess we’ll see,” Clarke replied, matching his tone. Then, in a more normal voice, she continued, “Well, so far we’ve learned that I like museums and you like Romans. And I guess you must like museums to come here by yourself.”

“Yeah,” he said, blushing faintly as they went to the next painting.

“Cool. What’s your favorite part to look at?”

“All of it.”

Clarke’s eyebrows furrowed. “You can’t say all of it. You must have a favourite. I mean, I _like_ all of it, but my favourite is the paintings. Except for this one,” she added. “This is terrible.”

“Really?” Bellamy frowned and studied it. He admittedly hadn’t been paying close attention to the pieces they’d looked at so far, too concerned with Clarke’s presence by his side, but he didn’t think it was terrible. Not his favourite, but it wasn’t badly done. And it was just a scenic piece of the river, so he didn’t think the subject matter could be offending her. “I don’t think I’d say it was bad. The colors aren’t that vivid, but I like the details on the boat. Why do you think it’s terrible?” He glanced back over to Clarke, noting the slow smile on her face. “Oh…” he trailed off, realizing. “You don’t think it’s terrible, do you?”

Clarke smiled slyly at him and shook her head.

“So that was a test?” He didn’t know how to feel about that.

Her expression softened, realizing his concern. “You’re just so tense, you need to relax,” she explained. “Although…” She bit her lip in thought, studying his face carefully. “Maybe there is one thing we should test before we continue.”

“Oh?”

She turned fully towards him, staring determinedly at his face. At a particular part of his face, Bellamy noted.

His breath caught when she rested a hand on his shoulder. She leaned in slowly, as if she was afraid Bellamy might bolt. But Bellamy’s feet were firmly planted in the ground. He kept his eyes open for as long as possible, taking in the shape of her nose, the curl of her eyelashes, every little detail until she pressed her lips to his.

He took his hands out of his pockets and put his arms around her, kissing her back sweetly, the way he’d thought about when he’d read her email about Fall. “Clarke,” he whispered against her lips, her name sounding right in his mouth. She whimpered in response. His kiss turned hard as he thought about the way he’d wanted to kiss her after that night in the break room.

“Clarke,” he said again, thinking of all the times he’d wanted to say her name aloud, but couldn’t.

He heard her bag fall to the floor just before she pressed herself against him.

Bellamy stopped thinking.

He wasn’t sure how long they stood like that, kissing. Most likely too long for such a public place. He didn’t have it in him to care though.

When Clarke finally pulled back he wanted to tease her for the dazed expression on her face, but Bellamy couldn’t find the words. He was too happy.

“So,” he asked, his voice deeper than before, “do you think we should continue?”

She nodded distractedly, leaning into him before she suddenly pulled herself back. “Er, yes.” She flushed, picking her coat and bag up off the floor. “I have a review to write, so we should probably…” Clarke gestured to the next hall, though her eyes kept returning to his lips.

Bellamy smiled. “Lead the way.”  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is interested in knowing more about the similarities/differences between this fic and the book and why hmu in the comments or on my [tumblr](https://useyourtelescope.tumblr.com/post/190391157948/exactly-the-right-kind-bellarke-fanfiction-t).  
> Hope you enjoyed it :)


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